River of Feelings

by Seasick Fist

We all, without exception, experience these often illogical sensations called emotions. This is an inescapable part of being alive, no matter how much we might sometimes wish otherwise. In this spectrum of emotions we get a range from ‘good to bad’. Feelings of Joy, Happiness and Pleasure we consider good, while feelings of Anger, Jealousy and Depression we consider to be bad. People often find themselves contemplating how to deal with emotions.

This may seem like an obvious statement but it’s important to remember that the concept of ‘good and bad’ is subjective and based on our own perspective. What some consider to be bad, others consider to be good; also we cannot have one without the other, such is the fate of this dualistic mentality. When we consider that even emotions like happiness have their alter-ego sadness, the whole concept of good and bad seems somewhat pointless. For these juxtapositions are like two sides of a single coin, there cannot be one without the other.

In the same way we only learn about one by experiencing the other. How can one truly know serenity if they’ve never known anger? Or know inner-peace if they’ve never experienced internal conflict? I used to think that it was good to occasionally feel these so-called negative emotions so that I would never begin to take the positive ones for granted. Which I’m sure many would agree with.

But as of late I’ve come to realise that the entire concept of ‘positive and negative’ or ‘good and bad’ emotions is unnecessary. Giving emotions subjective labels and attaching such connotations to them is ultimately superfluous. And this, I feel, ultimately stems from our identification with emotions.

Often people, especially those suffering from illnesses like depression, begin to identify themselves with certain emotions and feel that they become a part of their (false) sense of self and are therefore subconsciously unwilling to give up such emotions. In reality this is their Pain-Body manipulating them in order to maintain the continuation of it’s sustenence. (I should point out I don’t mean to claim I have any knowledge or qualifications in psychology or any such related field, and you are more than welcome to disagree with my opinion – as that’s all it is).

It is also important to realise that even if you are experiencing a positive emotion, not to overindulge in it. Just as we should not let ourselves be overcome by negative feelings, we should maintain the same reserved state with positive ones. For an overindulgence in anything, good or bad, can become detrimental to us over time.

The crux of the matter is to realise that you are not your emotions, merely an observer of them. It is unavoidable that you will experience emotional responses to life, but it is your choice whether you allow yourself to become those emotions.

“There’s a whole river of feelings flowing in us day and night. Every feeling is a drop in that river. A feeling is born, manifests, stays for a time, and then passes away. We can sit on the bank of the river of feelings and observe, recognise each feeling as it manifests, seeing it remain, and seeing it pass away. We shouldn’t identify ourselves with the feeling, nor should we try to push it away. We’re free, even from our own feelings. We have to train ourselves to recognise feelings. And with mindfulness we can bring forth a feeling of well-being, a feeling of happiness, at any time.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Once you bring self-awareness and mindfulness into your life and realise you are not your thoughts or feelings, but merely an observer of them, they instantly have less hold over you. This is the way people need to tread if they wish to learn how to deal with emotions.

“Your head is like the top of a tree in a storm. I would not stay there. Bring your attention down in the trunk of the tree, where there is stability.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

The ‘trunk of the tree’ he refers to in the above quote is your naval. When you practice mindful breathing it is useful to bring your focus to the rise and fall of your abdomen with each in-breath and out-breah. This way your focus is removed from the emotionally chaotic mind and returned to the present moment.

When you find yourself awash with unwelcome feelings, remember to embrace them with loving acceptance and remind yourself that it is your choice whether or not you become them.